Oh, Dorset is beautiful wherever you go
And the rain in the summer-time makes the wurzle bush grow.
And its pleasant to sit in the thunder and the hail,
With your girlfriend, on a turnip plant, to hear the sweet nightingale...

As I was a'walking one morning with a lass,
Some Dorsetshire farmers I chanced for to pass.
And one of them said as we went strolling by;
"There be more birds in the long grass than there be in the sky"

Now Sarah's is my girlfriend and I loves her so.
Her's as big as an haystack and 40 years old.
Farmer says she's ginormous and loud do he scoff,
'Cause you has to leave a chalk mark to show where you left off.

Farmer looks at young Gwendoline and he looks at young Ned
"What a handsome young couple, they ought to be wed".
The Farmer says sadly "It's impossible of course,
'Cause Gwendoline's me daughter and Ned is me horse".

Now, Sarah went milking with Nelly the cow,
She pulled and she tugged but she didn't quite know how.
So after a short while, Nelly turned with a frown,
Saying "You hang on tight, love, I'll jump up and down".